So We Were Just Thinking…
Welcome to the first in what will be a new feature here on the Pixel Dust blog. So We Were Just Thinking will be a column of sorts (a blogumn? a collog?) where Frank and I can share our experiences as wedding-industry insiders with our readers. We're going to tackle a different subject in each column. I'll go first with my thoughts, then Frank will chime in on the same subject and I can almost guarantee he'll have a different (read: male) perspective. It might not always be photography-related, but it will relate to our experiences as wedding photographers. Kind of a "he-said, she-said" but about all things wedding-ish. What we've learned from other professionals. Things we've seen that made us go "hmmmm...." Maybe something that's burning our chops that week. We thought beginning So We Were Just Thinking at the beginning of 2010 would be just right. Follow us through the year, find out what we find out, and join in the conversation. I'll go first.
Today, we're thinking about: Wedding Planners.
Not the three-ring binder that becomes the constant companion of every bride-to-be and the nemesis of many a groom, but the living, breathing dynamos also known as Event Coordinators. Maybe it's because we just finished the 2010 Wedding Show, but I can't help wondering why more couples don't hire event coordinators. Personally, if I'd just gotten engaged over Christmas and then walked into the Jim Graham building a mere week later to be confronted by the reality of all that had to be thought about, considered, planned and purchased, I might have turned to Frank and said, "Book some tickets baby 'cuz we're getting married in Vegas." Flowers. Linens. Stationery. Transportation. Catering. Venues. Gowns and tuxedos. Wedding cakes and crab cakes. Music and lighting. The honeymoon. And OMG, all those photographers. My blood pressure is going up just thinking about it. How do modern day couples DO this?
Frank: Being a guy, thoughts of the playoffs take up more room in my head than wedding coordinators do. But I gotta tell you, when I am running around a church frantically trying to find the boutonnieres so that they can be pinned on the groom and his guys before the pictures (that's a pretty important detail and believe me -- brides notice if the guys are actually wearing their flowers in the photos) or trying to find Great Aunt Doris who wandered off during the family formals -- I am thinking about how great it would be if there were someone to help figure all of this stuff out. So that I could actually, you know, take pictures.
Elizabeth: Often, one of the first questions I ask couples who come in for a consultation is: Who's your event coordinator? (And I don't mean the lady at the church who's going to tell you when to walk down the aisle.) Most of the time, the response is: "Oh, we're just going to do it ourselves." As if you're not throwing the average person's version of a State Dinner at the White House. Or "my aunt is going to do it." Doesn't your aunt deserve to enjoy your wedding too? Often it's "we can't afford it." I think there's a misconception floating around that event coordinators are just for couples with unlimited resources. I think we have TV shows like The Style Network's "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway" and WE's "Platinum Weddings" to thank for that particular misunderstanding. Whether your budget is $10K or $100K, an event coordinator can mean the difference between actually enjoying your wedding or experiencing repeated melt-downs on your journey to "I do."
Frank: Just having access to the knowledge in a talented coordinator's brain and a little bit of guidance can really go a long way. They don't think the way the rest of us do, which is a good thing.
Elizabeth: I'll be honest: when there's an event coordinator on board, I enjoy my job more. Weddings run smoother, stress levels are lower and smiles come easier. I see people relax and actually have fun on their wedding day. I've shot weddings where the bride is looking at me when it's ten minutes past the time her wedding should have started and her cousin/wedding coordinator still hasn't come to get her yet. That's stress, folks. Half the time, the cousin/wedding coordinator is running around like a chicken with her head cut-off, in tears, because she doesn't know what she's doing, she's worried about letting you down and she KNOWS it's ten minutes past the time you should have walked down the aisle. What are YOU, the bride, likely to remember about that moment? Worry, frustration, anger. Not excitement. Not anticipation. Not joy...on what should be a very joyful day.
Frank: While I love to help in any way I can during a wedding -- anything from showing the guys how to use the button covers and cuff links on the tuxedos to pinning on flowers or showing the ushers which arm they should offer the ladies to walk them down the aisle -- I don't do a great job of time-keeping and crowd-herding because I have a job to do as well. If I'm working as the de facto event coordinator, I'm not able to capture candid moments.
Elizabeth: This is not a blanket endorsement of all event coordinators. Like wedding photographers, there are some good ones, some great ones and some awful ones. And if I'm honest, I have to admit that trying to get our work in front of some coodinators is like trying to get an audience with the Pope. It can be tough to get on their list of trusted vendors. But that selectiveness is something that really works in your favor if you're a client.
Are coordinators for everyone? Possibly not. If you're a super-organized bride who drinks stress for breakfast, you'll probably be fine on your own. And I've worked with a Mother-of-the-Bride or two in my time that I'm pretty sure are super-human. But if you don't have a lot of support on the home front and the thought of coming up with a color scheme or seating arrangement makes you want to hide under a rock...consider recruiting an event coordinator to be a member of your wedding dream-team. This weekend at the Wedding Show, I met some lovely people whose entire purpose in life (well, that's most likely an overstatement, but you get my drift) is to make your wedding day as smooth, as stress-free, as joyful as possible. Like us, most coordinators have packages that allow you to choose the level of investment and involvement you get from them. They know that for many of you, the fun of planning a wedding is in finding ways to make it uniquely you. Don't worry that an event coordinator wants to take over the reins and make it all about her (or him). They, like us, want their clients to be happy. Most will move heaven and earth to make sure that you are.
Happy planning! :)
