Quest for The Dress: a wedding photographer’s view
Last weekend, I had the privilege -- and just plain fun -- of covering the Brides Against Breast Cancer Charity Wedding Gown Sale at the Raleigh Sheraton downtown. I came away from the experience with a renewed appreciation for just how daunting it can be to find the wedding dress of your dreams. First, a little of my own history: I bought my wedding dress off the rack at Hudson Belks back when they still had a bridal department and Frank, not my mom, sister or best friend, went with me. I bought the first dress I tried on and -- gasp! -- he saw me in it right then and there. We were determined to do everything about our wedding differently. Shopping for the dress was just one more thing we weren't going to do the traditional way. I found out later that my mom's feelings were hurt that she didn't get to go with me when I chose my wedding dress (I was the first daughter in our family to get married) and I regret now not having her with me when I found my version of The Dress. Maybe I wouldn't have strolled down the aisle with an enormous bow on my backside if Mom had been with me.
It was heart-warming and eye-opening to watch brides with their moms, sisters and friends on the quest to find the perfect wedding dress. A portion of the Hanover Ballroom where the gown sale was held was closed off to create one big dressing room, Filene's Bargain Basement style -- no doors, just a large room of dressing "stations". You don't spend almost ten hours over two days in a large room with dozens of brides and dresses and not come away with some observations about the process. Here are a few of mine.
- Take only one or two people whose opinion you value with you when you go shopping for a wedding dress. More than once I saw brides get frustrated and confused as they tried on dress after dress, only to have members of their Wedding Dress Posse express different opinions about each and every single dress. In this case, the fewer the opinions, the better.
- Make sure you take someone with you who will give it to you straight. Someone who will block the door and say, "Girl, I love you, but you are NOT walking out the door with that dress. You are beautiful, but that is not the dress for you. Let's keep looking."
- Pure white is a hard color for 80% of women to wear. Plus, if your wedding day is sunny and bright and you get married at high noon, your photographer is going to have to put you in the shade and then -- guess what -- that pure white is going to take on the blue-ish tinge of the light in shade. Soft ivory is the more flattering choice for most of us and for some weird reason doesn't go as blue in the shade as white does.
- Be willing to be surprised. Be open to styles you might not have considered before. Strapless dresses continue to be the most popular style, but they're not for everyone. I have to admit, I don't get the popularity of strapless wedding gowns. I, for one, detest my upper arms and I haven't met many women who love theirs either. So, why all the strapless dresses? I think, to some degree, it's because that's the style featured most often in bridal magazines and boutiques. If you choose a strapless gown, the tailoring has to be impeccable. If not, you're going to spend over 8 hours under threat of exposing the Girls to all your nearest and dearest. Or the dress is so tight to keep it from falling down that you can't breathe, much less execute a perfect version of "Thriller" on the dance floor. Rule of thumb: you should be able to walk the length of a large ballroom and back without feeling the need to pull up on the dress. If not, it doesn't fit right. If your dress doesn't fit, you're not going to feel comfortable and it will show in your photographs.
- Finally, when you look in the mirror and can't stop smiling, you've found The Dress.
Happy hunting,
Elizabeth
